We are all different.
When someone passes on, we all deal with grief in different ways. Most of us cry for a while, some of us fail to acknowledge it, which I will call disbelief and some of us just get very quiet. These are all different ways of processing the loss of someone close to us. I go through most of these, plus an additional one, I write a song about that person.
Writing a song is a different way of dealing with grief, but for me, it’s a path to healing. When someone passes that I know, I can’t seem to get it them out of my head and that’s a good thing. It’s all I think about. I think about the last time I saw that person, what I said and how we interacted. I also look to see if I have any regrets and it’s almost always wishing I was able to spend more time with that person. I then start writing all my thoughts down including key qualities of that person, my experiences with them and the experiences of others close to them. It’s really all the things that defined the individual and made them who there were. In every instance, they have always made a great contribution to others, whether they were a great husband, father, mother, brother and so on.
After everything is written down, I start to build the story by organizing the thoughts into verses and look for any elements that would make a title. Having the title, allows me to really fine tune the story. Once the basic song concept is done, I start to experiment with different chord patterns and melodies and refine the song even further. I continue to rewrite and edit, until I am happy with it.
Today, I am both happy and sad at the same time. I have a new song called You Left the Highway releasing this week, which is a tribute to my brother-in-law, who was also a musician. He was a rock and roll drummer and just got back into playing in three different bands and passed away earlier this year. He was always a pleasure to talk to and fun to be around. I wrote this song from my sister’s perspective. This is my tribute to you James. I miss you and look forward to seeing you again. Here is a link to the song on Spotify.
Have an awesome day.